It is really sad that you feel this way about God. Even though he has

allowed events to take place in my life that I did not either want or

like, I still believe he is God, and that he is in control. I love him

so much. By grace, I will continue to put my faith in him, no matter how

much satan tries to discourage me, so that I don't continue to believe

God, the more satan tries to use either circumstances or people, I even

more determined to love God and put my faith in him.

You should try this you might like